Trusting God

I see how it is

DISCLAIMER: There is a purpose to sharing this personal experience of mine and if you read until the end, you’ll understand.

You know how something catches your attention, and in that moment it really bothers you, but you choose not to allow it to dwell in your mind. Then it occurs repeatedly and becomes more difficult to shrug off. Maybe I’m the only one, but I choose to be honest with myself:

It doesn’t just bother me, it hurts.

Here’s the deal: I have a friend that I truly love wholeheartedly. We have been physically distanced due to my relocation after graduating, emotionally distanced due to my hiatus in interactions with anyone/thing that wasn’t directly connected to developing my relationship with God. I have made advances to reconnect and catch up with her as I have with others, but it has gone absolutely nowhere. I have reached out, and the times she has responded has been to tell me that she’ll get back to me. Which I totally understand. I mean living the college life is time consuming and hectic. However, if someone reached out to you, you don’t respond, and you post twice on Instagram, then maybe the person you’re neglecting isn’t that important.

I realized that the friendship I cherish so dearly, isn’t as cherished on the other end.

I finally decided to get it out and talk to God. As I opened up to him about how I was feeling in that moment, I had an epiphany. The Holy Spirit checked me rather than comforted me, and I am so grateful. As I talked to God, my plea for comfort and clarity changed to forgiveness. I couldn’t believe that this was the way I made Him feel all the time. He wants to hear from His child and have her listen to Him. He desires a connection, my affection and confessions. He longs to commune with me, but I tend to neglect Him.

I see how it is…

It isn’t just about reading His Word, it’s about totally engulfing yourself in His Presence. Losing yourself in worship.
Just in awe of who He is.
Being reminiscent of all He’s done.
Laying your burdens down.
Receiving His gifts of grace and peace.

I MEAN it’s so much more than making sure you’ve completed the checklist that consists of Bible study and church service. It’s about really being connected to Him; experiencing His Glory in everything you do. Of course Bible study and church service is vital, but do you truly fellowship with His people? Do you truly enjoy nature, His creation? Do you truly rejoice in what He has given you?

Our lives are so much more than Bible study and church. It’s the ultimate test of trusting the One who intricately designed you and this world. See the beauty in everything around you regardless of the circumstances. There is so much to be grateful for and to enjoy.

This post just went to a totally different dimension than I expected! It’s amazing though. I’m challenging myself and I hope that you challenge yourself.

#TransparencyBringsAboutIntimacy

Go ahead, give it your BEST shot…

I am FIRED UP right now.

Why? What’s going on?

The devil is on a mission. [Tell you something you don’t know, right?]

I have been in a period of transition as mentioned in my previous post. So lately I have been really pressed about getting a job. I’ve been fighting feelings of frustration and confusion; feelings of incompetence and shame. Just fear.

Frustrated because of my confusion; confused because I know that it isn’t God’s Will for man to not work, and He has a job for me already. (He told my mom this before I graduated and spoke to me right before Easter) Feelings of incompetence because [being that I’m still a month shy of legal age] I feel I lack experience for someone who has a Bachelor’s degree. My tenure in undergrad consisted of just extracurricular activities and classes. I completed my program 3 semesters before time, so because I planned to work full-time on my music after graduation [with no intentions of attending grad school or really working for that matter] I didn’t really think about internships. Sometimes I think that maybe I should have used the remainder of my 3 semesters interning and traveling to gain new experiences. Nonetheless, I am where I am and God knew my path before I took a step. Naturally, shame attempts to rear its ugly head.

According to 2 Timothy  1:7, God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and a sound mind. This means that frustration, confusion, feelings of incompetence, and shame are NOT of God. So, I have to fight them off because that’s just the enemy trying to discourage me.

Ephesians 6:12 (NLT)
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but  against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

In the words of Mali Music:

I’m on an airplane
And the destination of this flight is to the other side
Guess I have to go there
Guess I have to come here yeah
I know where I’m from but now
I’m headed where I’m going right

But there are powers, in the air, you can’t see them
And they have rockets and machine guns
And they’re firing on my plane

But I say fire, fire oh
Ready, aim, fire, you can’t shoot me down, no
Fffff fire! Fire
Ready, aim, fire, you can’t stop me now, no

THEY ARE FIRING ON MY PLANE. Literally. It’s ridiculous. I recently got into my 6th car accident amongst other shots taken at not only me, but my family alike. Yes, 6… that is not a typo. I’ve never been at fault, so there’s that.

I’ve written all of this to say, FIRE devil, FIRE. Give it your best shot. I know that God is FOR me and greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. I’m going to remain focused on God. I refuse to stay stuck on the enemy’s stupidity. What is for me will be for me. There is absolutely no maneuver of any evil forces and spirits that can overcome me.

BTW, I have an opportunity on the table for me to begin working… God is working all things for my good and I will trust Him.